Holy crap! I had a glow plug go through the #1 cylinder, and the head looked better than that. Showed the photos to SoCal, and they said it probably wasn't salvageable, and if it was, they wouldn't recommend it anyway.
I can't believe a vendor shipped out a head in that condition
You need to get your money back from that head, and have the vendor pay return shipping. None of this is your fault, so you shouldn't be out a dime. Really, they should be responsible for getting you a workable head overnighted (especially after this long of a runaround), but I doubt they will.
Like everyone says, get a head from SoCal. It will be pricey (but it sounds like DHD was high to begin with, so maybe the same price?), but Guy has heads in stock ready to go. I bet he'll even overnight one to you if you ask.