Post Whores II
- Thread starter Poltergeist
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rotest:[the Reds and Blues negotiate a unique terms of surrender, in which the Blues will send over the Medic, Frank Dufresne, in exchange for Grif, on behalf of the Reds, declaring how much he sucks]
Sarge: Get on with it, Grif.
Grif: [exasperated sigh] I would just like to let everyone know that I suck.
Church: And?
Grif: [with heavy hesitation] And that I'm a girl.
Church: What else?
Grif: [in a hesitant tone] And I like ribbons in my hair, and I want to kiss all the *boys*.
Sarge: This may be the best surrender of all time.
Sarge: Get on with it, Grif.
Grif: [exasperated sigh] I would just like to let everyone know that I suck.
Church: And?
Grif: [with heavy hesitation] And that I'm a girl.
Church: What else?
Grif: [in a hesitant tone] And I like ribbons in my hair, and I want to kiss all the *boys*.
Sarge: This may be the best surrender of all time.
Grif: [discussing the futility of civil war] Talk about a waste of resources. I mean, we should be out there finding new and intelligent forms of life. Y'know, fight them.
Church: [Frank has arrived too late to save Tex's life] First of all, great job on the Tex, man. Mission accomplished. Secondly, the way that we need you to assist is to help us kill all the Reds.
Frank DuFresne: Well, even if my orders didn't prohibit me from doing that, I still wouldn't. I joined the army as a conscientious objector.
Tucker: Consci... who?
Frank DuFresne: I'm a pacifist.
Caboose: ...You're a thing that babies suck on?
Tucker: No, dude, that's a pedophile.
Church: Tucker, I think he means a pacifier.
Tucker: Oh, yeah. Right. Man, I was totally thinking about something else.
Church: That's real classy, Tucker.
Frank DuFresne: Well, even if my orders didn't prohibit me from doing that, I still wouldn't. I joined the army as a conscientious objector.
Tucker: Consci... who?
Frank DuFresne: I'm a pacifist.
Caboose: ...You're a thing that babies suck on?
Tucker: No, dude, that's a pedophile.
Church: Tucker, I think he means a pacifier.
Tucker: Oh, yeah. Right. Man, I was totally thinking about something else.
Church: That's real classy, Tucker.
Caboose: So I say to the guy, How're you going to get the tank down to the planet? And he goes, I'll just put it on the ship. And I go, if you've got a ship that can carry a tank, why not just put guns on the ship and use it instead?
Simmons: Seriously, though. Why are we out here? As far as I can tell, it's just a box canyon in the middle of nowhere. No way in or out.
Grif: Mm-hm.
Simmons: The only reason that we set up a Red base here is 'cause they have a Blue base over there. And the only reason they have a Blue base over there is 'cause we have a Red base here.
Grif: Yeah. That's because we're fighting each other
Simmons: No, but I mean, even if we were to pull out today, and they were to come take our base, they would have two bases in the middle of a box canyon. Whoop-dee-****in' doo.
Grif: What's up with that, anyway? I mean, I signed on to fight some aliens. Next thing I know, Master Chief blows up the whole Covenant armada, and I'm stuck in the middle of nowhere. Fighting a bunch of Blue guys.
Grif: Mm-hm.
Simmons: The only reason that we set up a Red base here is 'cause they have a Blue base over there. And the only reason they have a Blue base over there is 'cause we have a Red base here.
Grif: Yeah. That's because we're fighting each other
Simmons: No, but I mean, even if we were to pull out today, and they were to come take our base, they would have two bases in the middle of a box canyon. Whoop-dee-****in' doo.
Grif: What's up with that, anyway? I mean, I signed on to fight some aliens. Next thing I know, Master Chief blows up the whole Covenant armada, and I'm stuck in the middle of nowhere. Fighting a bunch of Blue guys.
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