Basically the pump. The grinder pump actually has a grinder mechanism prior to the pump to make sure that everything is small enough to make it through the pump (including errant feminine products
). The grinders cost a lot more because of the extra parts and the duty cycle of the pump.
If you are not using the toilet/shower too much what you suggest sounds like it might work. You need to make sure the pump is large enough to get the "stuff" the 100' away. The pump curve looks "OK", but you need to probably have someone look at it for you. It would be best if the pipe drained from the top of the tank assembly discharge towards the septic tank. The way the pump curves work, as you raise the pressure (lift, or height, or length of pipe) from the top of the PUMP, you reduce flow....raise it too much and the pump will not push anything out.
Also be careful where you put the holding tank/pump assembly. If it is inside, it MUST be vented outside the building, and SHOULD be sealed off from the inside of the pole barn. Think like a small framed in corner with a door to the outside of the barn away from any doors or windows (this type of structure is REQUIRED in commercial applications). You will be generating methane gas inside the tank as stuff sits and you do not want an explosion.
Hope this helps.....