Alan, I've been in your shoes before.
I've been yelled at, called names, etc. and it doesn't bother me, but when they yell at our secretaries or treasurer (especially the girls) it pisses me off.
We had a puller refuse tech after a pull last year (unfortunately I was at the Buck and not at that event), but to my knowledge he was not overly disrespectful: He "should" have been banned, but he got off with just a DQ for the day (no points or prize money) and a decision was going to be made whether or not he could return. Several phone calls later consulting with the board members and others, it was decided that he could return but that his truck is up for tech anytime we feel like it. He returned to pull with us first pull this year and things went well.
Everyone is quick with the "ban hammer" and I agree in the perfect world it is the correct thing to do (and probably what we should have done), but as many of us know we do not live in a perfect world. What should be done and what is done are often 2 different things.
With the facts stated here (and it sounds as though at the end of the day his turbo was not checked), this is what I would do if it happened in our club (again only MY suggestion):
The first thing I would tell him (even before addressing the tech issue), is that disrespect to members and volunteers who are helping WILL NOT be tolerated and WILL result in a ban if it happens again (would also reiterate it at the drivers meeting). I would also throw in a jab about respecting women while I was at it (just because that's me).
I would then tell him that if he wants to pull with you again the truck will be THOROUGHLY teched before and after his pull and ANY time the tech(s) feel like it (for refusing the initial tech), and if he doesn't like it load the truck and leave.
People don't realize the work that goes into these pulls for little and more often times not, no compensation. The last thing we need is for these hot headed dip$hits to make it even tougher on those who are helping and volunteering.
Good Luck,
Chris