I feel like an ASS

[Dozerboy]

I have never been accused of having any tacked and it showed through just now.

My wife and I have been trying to get pregnant for over 2 years. No we're not doing it wrong, so spare me the wise cracks. I've heard them all even my buddy think she would get pregnant if he even winked at her. She has been taking the the disappointments every month harder and harder especially since we started fertility treatments. The infertility is unexplained after lots of testing. After the last treatment she was breaking down at work we took some time off and went to go see family since we have none here. She had a stressful job up until today as a retail store manger. There was a conference in CA that would of interrupted the fertility treatments for this month. She has been looking for a new job for a little bit now more in her "career feild", so she stepped down so she wouldn't have to go an less stress. We had talked about all of this she has though of stepping down for some time now. I have been against it but was trying to support her and push her to get a new job. We talked for a few mins today since her regional manager told her she had to go or else. I had to go so I called her after work to see what happened. And she told me it caught me a little off guard and after a long hard day my response was... I hope you didn't step down for nothing Well that was just Fing great. I tried to tell her I support her decision and whatever she thinks is best is ok to me. It was to late I know she is second guessing her decision and broke down in tears after we got off the phone.

 

[Tank222]

I'm a true ass hole at heart and I'm really trying to watch what I say to my fiance and at work it affects me alot. I would just say try and think before you say stuff like count to 2 before you say any thing, or at least that's my psycotrists advice.

 

[DougSmith]

Man, I feel for you. It is tough to take something like that back, but if you talk to her and tell her you were just thinking like a man, I think you will work it out and not look like and ass.

Sorry about the difficulties on getting pregnant. You are not alone. Hundreds of thousands of couples are going through the same thing. My motto is to relax, dont think of it like a job, and just live life to the fullest. We are not here for very long and to waste it stressing out over stupid stuff is so regretful. If you both DEstress the situation, it will happen.

Best of wishes to you:thumb:

 

[z79outlaw]

Sounds like a combination of alot of stressfull things, can't blame either one of you though, she should understand that, cant be a easy time for either of you.

 

[JD Dave]

Women are a complete wreck when they can't get pregnant. They know the clock is ticking and it's an emotional rollercoaster for both of you. My wife and I have been through all the fertility treatments and know what it's about. Write her a love letter and tell her how you really feel, girls love that sappy stuff and she won't be expecting it. Sounds silly but trust me. Good Luck.

 

[Dozerboy]

Thanks for the support
I know she isn't upset with me for what I said I just added her second guessing herself. The worse thing was she was at work and doesn't get off until late tonight. We are trying to move on some, been putting or lives on hold over this for quit sometime. The only reason she even took this job was until she finish school and for the insurance/flexibility while pregnant.

Emotional roller coaster is right. We thought/knew we pregnant this last going around all the hormones where good unlike the last times and she had some signs. She was devastated. I have faith it will happen when its meant to. My real problem is how hard it is on her and there ain't anything I can do about it. My mom have been a real help to me she went thorough all of this for 4 years trying to have me.

 

[Pondsy]

Man, I feel for you. It is tough to take something like that back, but if you talk to her and tell her you were just thinking like a man, I think you will work it out and not look like and ass.

Sorry about the difficulties on getting pregnant. You are not alone. Hundreds of thousands of couples are going through the same thing. My motto is to relax, dont think of it like a job, and just live life to the fullest. We are not here for very long and to waste it stressing out over stupid stuff is so regretful. If you both DEstress the situation, it will happen.

Best of wishes to you:thumb:

Been there/done that - 6 years of trying/2 miscarriages/fert treatments - it was almost the end of us. Finally I told her if this doesn't work, I'm done trying. I was ready to give up and just enjoy life - stop putting it on hold. We were very fortunate in the end. I hope that there is some good that comes from the process and wish you both the best. We'll keep you in our prayers!

 

[carter_44]

As stated above women get on an emotional rollercoaster when they can't get preganant exactly when they want to...therefore the emotions mess with hormone levels which in turn lessens the chance of actually getting pregnant. I don't want to sound like an asshole but I don't understand what is causing all the stress. So you guys are trying to get pregnant...that is supposed to be a very fun thing to do. That doesn't mean that if it doesn't happen right away that the world is going to end. Seriously, do something special for the woman and let her know that it's not something to break down over and that it will happen when it is supposed to happen. Everyone chill out...hormone levels go back to normal and stress is reduced...hell you might just get pregnant.

Good luck and God bless.

 

[BombDocDiesel]

Hang in there. There is no right answer for this one. My first wife nothing more than to have kids. I can't have kids. It was hell watching her try to deal with it. She blamed herself a lot. I have learned through three ex-wives that their emotional roller coaster concerning kids is faster and taller than any other. Being supportive and trying to do the right things can just leave you feeling like an ass all the time. This is just something we can't understand.

I wish you the best of luck with having kids. I have settled pretty comfortably with being an Uncle to five nephews and three nieces.

 

[Turbotug]

Sometimes the stress of unsuccessfully trying to have a baby can be the hurdle.

I have an Aunt and Uncle who went through a similar situation. 10+ years of ovulation calenders, fertility treatments, ect without getting pregnant. 10s of thousands of dollars spent.

They finally "gave up" on having a child. Less than a year later they were pregnant!

Let her take some time off work, relax, and have some fun..


Good luck!!

 

[J Spruill]

very stressful on both ends. best wishes,prayers sent...

 

[ripmf666]

My Gf was told she could not have without all these shots and crap. Was told stress from school would also make it hard. Hell one night at the bar and night even thinking about it or trying and bam knocked up. I wish you two luck prayer are with you.And we will pray more for you after she's pregnet trust me you will need it.:hug:

 

[BoiseRob]

Don't sweat it. My wife and I tried for 2 years while she was on fertility meds. We stopped all meds and she got pregnant after we stopped trying.

Go figure...

Now our little "Bundle-Of-Joy" is graduating from high school next Saturday and is going to Boise State in the Fall...

Holy Crap... Time sure flies...



I suddenly feel OLD...

lcoot:

 

[TIM Z]

Your not the only one who says things that we shouldnt. Im guilty also.

All you can do is show them you love them and try to think before it comes out, EASIER said than done!

When youve been with some one for a long time , your not worrying about stupid dating things anymore, so we say stuff that we know might not come out right, but wouldnt ruin the relationship, if you know what i mean.


Good luck to you and give all your problems to the big man, he will take care of them.

 

[TheBac]

I agree with Brandon...the extra pressure she's putting on herself while you're trying, plus the stress of work is not helping. Take a break and try to relax.

You opened your mouth and inserted your foot.....Im a damn expert at that. "Open mouth, change feet" is my motto. Its one of those things...we guys just arent the same as the ladies, and just never get it right. But in the end, you'll both be ok.
Id be more inclined to rip into that boss of hers...he had no compassion for anything but the bottom line, and work is not the end all, be all.

Give her our best.

 

[madmatt]

I know this is a few days old but just wanted to add a plus 1 to the comments above about being sensitive as possible. Right now, at any given time, anything is the wrong thing to say. I do also feel like stress plays more of a role in getting pregnant more then people think. My cousin who is a OB/GYN herself tried for YEARS to get pregnant w/o success. Two months after bringing home their adopted daughter, she found out she was pregnant.
My wife is now 15 weeks after nearly two year of trying and treatments. For those who haven't gone through it, even the act of "trying" becomes stressful and the schedules and cost only add to that and we as the men who are usually more emotionally stable at this time have to be on constant "guard" as to what we do or say. We started young, she's 23 and I'm 29 now but we knew from the get go we'd have issues.
I've found after going to four different doctors, finding a great Dr. is half the battle. Dr. after Dr. tried to push us towards IVF saying that was the only way without even discussing other options or explaining fully why (I think the $15k price tag had a lot to do with that) and we just weren't ready for that and felt odd going that route at first. A little like messing with god's will a little too much. not that we ruled it out but we wanted to exhaust other options first. We were lucky enough to find we were about a 2 hour drive from what many consider the best fertility clinic in the world, The Bethdesda Fertility clinic ( http://www.bethesdafertility.com/)and Dr. Glen Hofmann. Three months of meds, two shots, one treatment and less then $2000 later, we were pregnant.
Good Luck to you and your wife. it's a tough road i know but try not to stress and just know that god's will is stronger then any medicine and whats meant to be will happen. I've always felt that way and my wife felt much better once she started thinking that way too.

 

[DMAXchris]

Was she taking birth control by any chance? They have been proven to lead to sterility.

 

[madmatt]

Was she taking birth control by any chance? They have been proven to lead to sterility.

that @ the OP?

 

[DMAXchris]

Yes. I forgot to quote.

 

[malibu795]

stress is the #1 thing to mess up a woman hormones/cycle/chem balance.


relax
have fun

if god want you to have one you will