I like the last one.
Jill: What happened to you and that last boyfriend?
Mary: Well, you know how men are supposed to be hunters,
and women are supposed to be gatherers?
Jill: Yeah, I know about that.
Mary: Well, he couldn't hunt enough money to keep up with
my gathering.
-------------------
A murder has been committed. Police are called to an apart-
ment and find a man standing, holding a 5-iron in his hands,
looking at the lifeless body of a woman on the ground.
The detective asks, "Sir, is that your wife?"
"Yes."
"Did you hit her with that golf club?"
"Yes. Yes, I did," the man, answers. He stifles a sob, drops
the club and puts his hands on his head.
"How many times did you hit her?"
"I don't know. Five...maybe six ...put me down for a five."
----------------------
A little Mexican boy goes into the kitchen where his mom Is
baking. He puts his hand in the flour and wipes it all over
his face. "Mom,look, I'm a white boy." His mom slaps him in
the face and says "Go show your father".
He goes to his dad in the living room and says "Look papa,
I'm a white boy." His dad slaps him hard in the face and
says "Go show your grandmother."
The boy goes in his grandmothers room and says "Mira,
abuelita, I'm a white boy " His grandmother slaps him in
the face and sends him back to his mother.
His mother says "See. Did you learn anything from that?"
To which the boy replies, "Sure did. I have only been white
for five minutes and I already don't like you Mexicans.
---------------------
Saturday morning I got up early, put on my long johns,
dressed quietly, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, slipped
quietly into the garage to hook the boat up to the truck,
and proceeded to back out into a torrential down pour.
There was snow mixed with the rain, and the wind was blowing
30 mph. I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio,
and discovered that the weather would be bad throughout the
day.
I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped
back into bed. There I cuddled up to my wife's back, now
with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather
out there is terrible."
My loving wife of 15 years replied, "Can you believe my dumb-
ass husband is out fishing in that crap?"
I still don't know if she was joking.
Jill: What happened to you and that last boyfriend?
Mary: Well, you know how men are supposed to be hunters,
and women are supposed to be gatherers?
Jill: Yeah, I know about that.
Mary: Well, he couldn't hunt enough money to keep up with
my gathering.
-------------------
A murder has been committed. Police are called to an apart-
ment and find a man standing, holding a 5-iron in his hands,
looking at the lifeless body of a woman on the ground.
The detective asks, "Sir, is that your wife?"
"Yes."
"Did you hit her with that golf club?"
"Yes. Yes, I did," the man, answers. He stifles a sob, drops
the club and puts his hands on his head.
"How many times did you hit her?"
"I don't know. Five...maybe six ...put me down for a five."
----------------------
A little Mexican boy goes into the kitchen where his mom Is
baking. He puts his hand in the flour and wipes it all over
his face. "Mom,look, I'm a white boy." His mom slaps him in
the face and says "Go show your father".
He goes to his dad in the living room and says "Look papa,
I'm a white boy." His dad slaps him hard in the face and
says "Go show your grandmother."
The boy goes in his grandmothers room and says "Mira,
abuelita, I'm a white boy " His grandmother slaps him in
the face and sends him back to his mother.
His mother says "See. Did you learn anything from that?"
To which the boy replies, "Sure did. I have only been white
for five minutes and I already don't like you Mexicans.
---------------------
Saturday morning I got up early, put on my long johns,
dressed quietly, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, slipped
quietly into the garage to hook the boat up to the truck,
and proceeded to back out into a torrential down pour.
There was snow mixed with the rain, and the wind was blowing
30 mph. I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio,
and discovered that the weather would be bad throughout the
day.
I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped
back into bed. There I cuddled up to my wife's back, now
with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather
out there is terrible."
My loving wife of 15 years replied, "Can you believe my dumb-
ass husband is out fishing in that crap?"
I still don't know if she was joking.
