First time buying condoms

[RodZZilla]

I recall my first time with a condom. I was 16 years old and went in to buy a packet of condoms at the pharmacy. There was a beautiful female assistant behind the counter and she could see that I was new to this. She handed me the package and asked if I knew how to wear one.

I answered honestly, “Well, not exactly; this is my first time.” So she unwrapped the package, took one out and slipped it over her thumb. She cautioned me to always make sure it was on tight and secure. I nodded yes but apparently I still looked confused. So she looked all around the store to see if it was empty. It was.

“Just a minute,” she said, as she walked to the door and locked it. Taking my hand, she led me into the back room, unbuttoned her blouse and removed it. She unhooked her bra and laid it aside. “Do these excite you?”, she asked. I was so dumb-struck that all I could do was nod my head and smile. She then said it was time to put the condom on.

As I slipped it on nice and secure, she undressed and lay back on the desk. “Well, come on”, she said, “We don’t have much time.”

So I climbed up on the desk and started going to work. It felt so good I couldn’t hold back and BAM!!, I was done within just a minute, if even that long.

She looked at me with a puzzled look. “Did you put that condom on?”, she
asked.

I said, “I sure did”…and held up my thumb to show her.

 

[03 D-max]

:rofl:

 

[dmaxfireman]

:rofl: now thats funny

 

[ruffmanatv]

:rofl: A great one indeed.

 

[custom8726]

ha ha ha!!:rofl:

 

[coldLBZ]

:rofl:

 

[Whitetail Addict]

:rofl:

 

[jrkrace]

Good one....

 

[LB7Diesel]

:rofl::rofl::hello:

 

[E.carter]

I was believing it as a true story till the end...... lol good one:rofl:

 

[BigRedHD]

Lol

 

[McRat]

A woman finds some condoms in her husband's car, but she doesn't know what they are.

"What are these?" she asks him.

"Uh... Duh... You put those around your pack of cigarettes so rain doesn't get them wet!" he says.

So his birthday is coming up, and the wife is shopping at Walgreens. She sees the condom display. "These would be a great gift" she thinks, and goes up to the counter.

"What kind of these do you think I should buy?" she asks the clerk.

"What size are you looking for?" he replies.

"I need some that will fit over Camels."

 

[RodZZilla]

:rofl:

 

[TX23]

A woman finds some condoms in her husband's car, but she doesn't know what they are.

"What are these?" she asks him.

"Uh... Duh... You put those around your pack of cigarettes so rain doesn't get them wet!" he says.

So his birthday is coming up, and the wife is shopping at Walgreens. She sees the condom display. "These would be a great gift" she thinks, and goes up to the counter.

"What kind of these do you think I should buy?" she asks the clerk.

"What size are you looking for?" he replies.

"I need some that will fit over Camels."

HOLY CRAP THAT WAS FUNNY!!!!:hehe::hehe::hehe:

 

[RodZZilla]

Speaking of Camels...

A General in the Foreign Legion is assigned to a new post in the middle of the desert. The Sargent Major is showing him around the fort. They walk past a stable with a camel. "Sgt. Major, why is the camel here?" "Sir, the men use that camel for sex." the Sgt. Major replies. "That is disgusting! Remove that animal at once!" The Sgt. Major knowing better, hides the camel in another spot on the post. A few months pass, and the General is having "urges." He approaches the Sgt. Major. "Did you get rid of the camel when I asked you to?" "No, Sir." he replies. "Good, take me to it." The General walks behind the camel and starts:ban-hump::sheephump: When he finishes, he asks "Well, is this how the men do it?" "No Sir, they ride it into town."

 

[dmaxfireman]

while we're on the camel topic......

http://media.funlol.com/content/img/scud-missile-launcher.jpg


....... hahahahaha

 

[03 D-max]

while we're on the camel topic......

....... hahahahaha

hahahahahaha good one

 

[knagel]

Rod u r sick.

oh by the way, your dating service called today and said your application got rejected due to an answer you gave. The question was "what would you like in a woman" and you reply of "My d*ck" was not acceptable.

Kev

 

[mytmousemalibu]

This is a great thread! Fauckin hilarious! :rofl:

 

[RodZZilla]

Rod u r sick.

oh by the way, your dating service called today and said your application got rejected due to an answer you gave. The question was "what would you like in a woman" and you reply of "My d*ck" was not acceptable.

Kev

Yes I am.

I was repremanded when I was in ROTC because we had to list our strengths and weaknesses. For Weakness I listed "I am a sucker for Large Cheasted Women.":rofl: An upperclassman (PERSON) was not impressed. She didn't fit the criteria.