I found this on Craigslist, I had heard about it. For your testing purposes....
In a recent post, I mentioned my "Are you a Crazy Bitch" test.
This test is designed for prospective girlfriends, FWB's and
even potential wives.
I am posting it here for all. Please feel free to copy and paste as you see fit.
This is the "condensed" version..just like Readers Digest.
If you feel slighted or are offended by this test, my wife will be more than happy to dig out her "Are you a Worthless, Crazy
Asshole?" Test. (Yes, I passed it. Got a C-)I will post it if you like.
And yes, I am an asshole with nothing better to do. Thanks for asking.
THE CRAZY BITCH TEST
Please choose the best answer. Choose only one.
1. How long after your first sexual encounter with a man do you tell
him you love him?
A Right after I swallow
B Later that night/morning
c One Week
D More than 2 Months..sometimes longer
2. How many times have you been ACCUSED of a violent crime? EVER.
(Ever means your ENTIRE LIFE including before you turned 18)
A 3 or more
B 2
C 1
D Never
3. How many household items have you damaged over the years as a result
of fights with your ex? (This includes EVERYTHING..TVs, DVDs, Dishes,
Glassware, Etc.)
A 2+
B Only One
C Only One and I caught him cheating
D Never
4. Have you ever caused damage to your house/apartment/trailer? (Drywall,
Doors, etc...)
A Yes
B No
(If you answered yes and were forced to move as a result of the damage,
please stop here. I will call you with the results. Please allow 2 weeks
for processing)
5. How many times have you kept, stolen and/or hid items from your Ex?
A 3 or more
B 1 to 2
C Never
6. Have you EVER set Fire to ANYTHING on purpose?
A Yes
B No
7. Do you now or have you ever dated (screwed) two or more men at the same
time but expected them to be faithful to you?
A Yes
B No
8. Have you ever or would you participate in a threesome with your man
and another woman? (Hey, it's my test..answer the question. consider
it extra credit)
A Yes
B No
9. Have you ever faked a pregnancy, a fatal disease or lied about
the death of a parent/sibling to keep your man from leaving you?
A Yes
B No
10. Have you ever thought about killing someone? How about killing
your BF/Husband while he's asleep next to you?
A Yes and Yes
B Yes and No
C No and No
(No, you can't answer No and Yes)
11. Think about the last time you told a boyfriend/husband that
you "fucking hated their guts" and then you made up and you
said "C'mon baby, let's fuck". What was the estimated elapsed
time between you saying these?
A 2 minutes or less
B 3 minutes to 15 minutes
C 16 minutes to 1 hour
D I don't know. It took awhile. (Hours, Days, etc)
12. Have you EVER had a Protective Order against you? (Read number
2 again for the definition of EVER)
A Yes
B No
13. Have you ever followed a current BF/Husband or Ex around without
their knowledge?
A Yes
B No
14. Read #13 again. If you answered yes, have you ever been caught
by him and then accused him of following you?
A Yes
B No
15. Think of your last relationship. On average, how many times a
day did you call him?
A 1-3
B 4-6
C 6+
D Only 1-3, but I wouldn't let him get off the phone
16. How much do you like sex? How Adventurous are you in the Bedroom?
A Not much. Not at all
B Pretty much. Willing to try.
C Alot. Not many things I wont do.
D Anytime. Anywhere. Anything you want.
(My Test. Remember? Consider it another extra credit question)
17. Please describe in 100 words or less all self inflicted damage
you have caused yourself. EVER. (Examples could be..Pulling out own
hair, cutting yourself, OD on purpose, etc.)
18. Has your MOther, Father or Grandparents ever told you that you
were a crazy bitch?
A Yes
B No
19. If you answered No to #18..Have you ever overheard your parents
or grandparents tell someone else in a hushed voice that you
were a "fucking crazy ass bitch"?
A Yes
B No
20. How many times have you been in jail? How many Therapists have
you seen? How many times have you been sent someplace to "get
better" (NOT the hospital) Please add all your answers and write
the number below.
21. Please finish the following sentence. The last time I caught
my BF/Husband looking at another woman, I..
A. Laughed it off. Everyone looks.
B. Got a little miffed, but got over it.
c. Started yelling at him and embarrassed the hell out of him.
D. Smiled and told him I would cut his dick off the next time I caught him.
E. Beat the living fuck out of him. He'll never do that again.
A few more quick questions. Please answer yes or no next to each one.
22. Are you on Probation?
23 Would you wear a Cartoon Daphne (from Scooby Doo) Halloween mask
while we have sex? (Don't ask. Just answer)
24. Other than an accident, have you ever caused someone to stay
in a hospital?
25. Ever went in the kitchen and all the sharp objects have disappeared?
P.S. If I had given her this test before I got married, I wouldn't be divorced..Arcing
In a recent post, I mentioned my "Are you a Crazy Bitch" test.
This test is designed for prospective girlfriends, FWB's and
even potential wives.
I am posting it here for all. Please feel free to copy and paste as you see fit.
This is the "condensed" version..just like Readers Digest.
If you feel slighted or are offended by this test, my wife will be more than happy to dig out her "Are you a Worthless, Crazy
Asshole?" Test. (Yes, I passed it. Got a C-)I will post it if you like.
And yes, I am an asshole with nothing better to do. Thanks for asking.
THE CRAZY BITCH TEST
Please choose the best answer. Choose only one.
1. How long after your first sexual encounter with a man do you tell
him you love him?
A Right after I swallow
B Later that night/morning
c One Week
D More than 2 Months..sometimes longer
2. How many times have you been ACCUSED of a violent crime? EVER.
(Ever means your ENTIRE LIFE including before you turned 18)
A 3 or more
B 2
C 1
D Never
3. How many household items have you damaged over the years as a result
of fights with your ex? (This includes EVERYTHING..TVs, DVDs, Dishes,
Glassware, Etc.)
A 2+
B Only One
C Only One and I caught him cheating
D Never
4. Have you ever caused damage to your house/apartment/trailer? (Drywall,
Doors, etc...)
A Yes
B No
(If you answered yes and were forced to move as a result of the damage,
please stop here. I will call you with the results. Please allow 2 weeks
for processing)
5. How many times have you kept, stolen and/or hid items from your Ex?
A 3 or more
B 1 to 2
C Never
6. Have you EVER set Fire to ANYTHING on purpose?
A Yes
B No
7. Do you now or have you ever dated (screwed) two or more men at the same
time but expected them to be faithful to you?
A Yes
B No
8. Have you ever or would you participate in a threesome with your man
and another woman? (Hey, it's my test..answer the question. consider
it extra credit)
A Yes
B No
9. Have you ever faked a pregnancy, a fatal disease or lied about
the death of a parent/sibling to keep your man from leaving you?
A Yes
B No
10. Have you ever thought about killing someone? How about killing
your BF/Husband while he's asleep next to you?
A Yes and Yes
B Yes and No
C No and No
(No, you can't answer No and Yes)
11. Think about the last time you told a boyfriend/husband that
you "fucking hated their guts" and then you made up and you
said "C'mon baby, let's fuck". What was the estimated elapsed
time between you saying these?
A 2 minutes or less
B 3 minutes to 15 minutes
C 16 minutes to 1 hour
D I don't know. It took awhile. (Hours, Days, etc)
12. Have you EVER had a Protective Order against you? (Read number
2 again for the definition of EVER)
A Yes
B No
13. Have you ever followed a current BF/Husband or Ex around without
their knowledge?
A Yes
B No
14. Read #13 again. If you answered yes, have you ever been caught
by him and then accused him of following you?
A Yes
B No
15. Think of your last relationship. On average, how many times a
day did you call him?
A 1-3
B 4-6
C 6+
D Only 1-3, but I wouldn't let him get off the phone
16. How much do you like sex? How Adventurous are you in the Bedroom?
A Not much. Not at all
B Pretty much. Willing to try.
C Alot. Not many things I wont do.
D Anytime. Anywhere. Anything you want.
(My Test. Remember? Consider it another extra credit question)
17. Please describe in 100 words or less all self inflicted damage
you have caused yourself. EVER. (Examples could be..Pulling out own
hair, cutting yourself, OD on purpose, etc.)
18. Has your MOther, Father or Grandparents ever told you that you
were a crazy bitch?
A Yes
B No
19. If you answered No to #18..Have you ever overheard your parents
or grandparents tell someone else in a hushed voice that you
were a "fucking crazy ass bitch"?
A Yes
B No
20. How many times have you been in jail? How many Therapists have
you seen? How many times have you been sent someplace to "get
better" (NOT the hospital) Please add all your answers and write
the number below.
21. Please finish the following sentence. The last time I caught
my BF/Husband looking at another woman, I..
A. Laughed it off. Everyone looks.
B. Got a little miffed, but got over it.
c. Started yelling at him and embarrassed the hell out of him.
D. Smiled and told him I would cut his dick off the next time I caught him.
E. Beat the living fuck out of him. He'll never do that again.
A few more quick questions. Please answer yes or no next to each one.
22. Are you on Probation?
23 Would you wear a Cartoon Daphne (from Scooby Doo) Halloween mask
while we have sex? (Don't ask. Just answer)
24. Other than an accident, have you ever caused someone to stay
in a hospital?
25. Ever went in the kitchen and all the sharp objects have disappeared?
P.S. If I had given her this test before I got married, I wouldn't be divorced..Arcing